


Inevitable

by xxDreamy



Series: Malec Flufftober 2019 [11]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Awkwardness, Bittersweet Ending, Canon Compliant, Episode: s02e06 Iron Sisters, First Dates, Flufftober, Hands, Holding Hands, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 03:46:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20988299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxDreamy/pseuds/xxDreamy
Summary: Their date doesn't go well and Alec can only think about an upcoming end. He just wants to hold Magnus' hand before they part.





	Inevitable

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! 
> 
> This is the first and probably the only canon compliant fic for flufftober! Enjoy! <3
> 
> D.

It’s really hard to go back to feeling comfortable after their conversation. Really _damn_ hard.

Alec has never been the one to actually relax around people, Shadowhunters’ instinct one could say, but it was much easier when he found a safe space wrapped around Magnus and this space seemed to invite him in. Alec wanted to come in. He really wanted it.

This day was supposed to start differently and it certainly wasn’t supposed to end like this.

The morning was a disaster, the stress he couldn’t escape from caught him the moment he opened his eyes. It was all he could focus on while he worked his way through the day. But then, he got a fire message from Magnus and his worries replaced the stress when he winded through New York’s streets, in a hurry trying to find a way to Magnus’ apartment. There was a part of him that was happy when he figured out Magnus was completely okay but still, there was also this part which was irritated, feeling caged and watched. Alec didn’t like being under someone’s supervision and he hated the fact that Magnus seemed to see into him. It took him a second to understand, before he could lash out and say something he shouldn’t, that it wasn’t an inspection, it was _concern _and that Alec was even less prepared for. Agreeing to drinks they clearly owed each other was crazy and spontaneous but exactly what he needed at this moment. Magnus knew it. He seemed to read him like an open book. Alec couldn’t be behindhand with Magnus, he needed to actually get to know him. Not because it was something he should do but because it was something he deeply wanted.

And yet, they ended up like this, sitting by the bar in an awkward silence, unable to utter a word after Magnus’ confession.

“We should go”, his date says quietly, his eyes staring at his new drink. He hasn’t said anything since he shocked Alec with his past. _Let’s just try to make the best of it, _the words roar in his head, repeated by Magnus’ melodic voice, leaving a pang in his heart. He doesn’t know how to move from it, he feels like this confession put paid to their… their _what? _Whatever it was, it feels like it’s already gone.

“We really should”, Alec whispers, his fingers dancing on the table, fiddling nervously with a napkin he doesn’t remember how he got. He moves his eyes at Magnus, for the first time in a long while, and stares into his brown irises trying to get some answers. The man stands up, sending him a sad smile, and motions at the door. Alec follows him reluctantly, aware of upcoming end he doesn’t want to accept.

“Do you want me to make a portal for you?”, Magnus asks, his voice wavering a little.

“No”, he answers so fast his date’s eyes shot up at him. “I mean”, he takes a deep breath, trying to unscramble his thoughts. “Can I walk you home?”, he says, surprised at his own words. Magnus blinks at him, something weird flashing in his eyes, and he nods, the corners of his lips raising slightly when he utters a quiet “Yes, of course”.

The walk is as awkward as Alec expected. He sticks to Magnus’ side, peeking at his beautiful face whenever he doesn’t look his way. And Alec knows he does. They both try to stare at each other and they both fail miserably trying to hide it. Alec’s brain works so hard he can hear his thoughts moving around his head. He opens his mouth numerous times and each time he forgets the words. Nothing is good enough to say and Alec hates it.

He bites his lip, trying to reason with himself when an idea pops into his head. It’s stupid, incredibly stupid, and it’s exactly why Alec does it. He grabs Magnus’ hand, entwining them together, and he lets out a shaky breath, expecting a reaction that is supposed to come any second. Manicured fingers slowly move in his grasp, tightening around his own and making his heart skip a bit.

_I don’t push someone away just because they’re a hard choice, _his own words resonate in his head and he wraps himself around them. If that’s all he gets with Magnus, if those are their last moments, if he can’t stop the overthinking roaring in his head and it’s all lost, then it’s the least he can do for himself. For them.

He can spend those remaining minutes by Magnus’ side, walking through the streets of New York, two hands safely clasped together, enjoying the time they have left, both avoiding the inevitable.

He can do that and relish every second.


End file.
